Sunday, February 24, 2013

The Perils of Growing Children

I'm not very materialistic.  I'm not trying to sound all holy or anything - I just never have been attached to "stuff."  It's just stuff.  Usually.

But when I pack up all the clothes my kids have grown out of, I get a little more attached to that "stuff."  I give my friends all of my kids' clothes when we are finished with them, but I have a small box for each child where I keep "special" outfits that I just can't give away.

And when I'm going through outgrown clothes, I find my "special" pile starts to grow and grow.  I can't help it.  I see the pajamas that Mimi bought for Paxton and they were just so soft and they made him even more snuggly.

Or the little outfit that I bought as soon as I found out I would have a daughter and she only wore it twice because she grew so quickly.

(Piper with her cousin Caleb)

And the fireman pajamas that Xander loved so much that for months I washed them every day so he could wear them every night.

And I'm reminded that they will never ever be able to fit in those clothes again and that time is so very fleeting.  it's enough to make my heart physically hurt and my eyes start to water.

But then I stop.  And I make myself realize - it's not the clothes that are so special to me.  It's the kids.  And the memories of them being so snuggly or so tiny or so happy.  And I remember that I'm intentional about keeping memories.  I won't let myself forget.  And we have many more memories to make.

So most of the clothes can go and be used by someone else's child, and he or she will look just as cute and have just as much fun in them as mine did.

Just maybe not these clothes.  :)


  1. I love this. Now that my kids are (almost) 11, 9, and 4 (just a month older than Xander, actually), I find that I struggle to remember what Riley's voice sounded like when he was little, or how Haley wouldn't, for the life of her, try and walk, but by God, she was the best crawler in the free world! I try to remember Adam's ginormous cheeks that eventually chisled themselves down to create a boy's face, not a baby's.

    In the next couple of years, Riley's voice will crack and deepen. Haley will walk into school dances and sleepovers, and Adam's cheeks will become more and more defined, and he will never again have that baby face.

    When they are small, we, as parents, don't get to savor every single moment. We are busy hoping that they have a roof over their heads, clean clothes and good food. Sure, we have those moments where we are in awe of what we helped create, and yes, there are SO many GOOD moments, but eventually, when we're the Mimis or the Grammas, at least we'll remember them as they were then...and I suppose, even though that is the sad curse of being a parent, it's also the sweetest, most amazing gift.

    I am so very, very glad I had them.

    1. You are such a good writer! Yes, so true. I really do try to keep memories by writing stuff down and taking pictures and just being present with them, but one thing I need to do more of is video. After I read your comment, I went back and watched a couple short videos from when Xander was about 2. He didn't say most things correctly. "I love you" came out "shoo shoo" and our dog, Bosco, was "Gods-go." I love it. I miss those baby words sometimes.