Thursday, January 8, 2015

Deep Thoughts with Alexander James

It has been entirely too long since we heard from Mr. Alexander James Bruch.  Entirely.  I haven't been as diligent about writing them all down lately, but I need to start back again, because he really cracks me up.  I love this kid.  Enjoy.

X:  Mommy, how much did your (engagement) ring cost?
M:  Well, mine wasn't too much; I think it was around eight hundred dollars.
X (with wide eyes):  What???
M:  Yeah, and most rings are much more than that now.
X:  Well, when I get married, I'll just take your ring for the girl.  I don't want to spend all my money on that!

"I can't go to school tomorrow; it's flu season!  Are you crazy?!"

(I was explaining adoption to him in terms he could relate to - don't get all excited; we aren't adopting)
M:  . . . so if me and Daddy adopted a child, he or she would be our son or daughter, and your brother or sister!
X:  And then I would sell Paxton or Piper, because I only want one of each.

"I love these shorts because they smell like Indians!"

(As I was putting him to bed one night)
X:  Isn't it funny that "chicken" is the name for an animal and a food you eat?
M:  Ummmm. . . .
X:  Wait - if you cook an animal chicken, does that give you chicken?
M:  Well. . . yes.
X:  So you have to just take it's feathers off and poke out it's eyes and take out it's heart then it's chicken?
M:  Yeah, but we don't need to think. . .
X:  And it's teeth and bones?
M:  Let's just go to bed.
X:  And the roof of its mouth?
M:  Good night, son.  Go to sleep.
X:  And the floor of its mouth?
M:  Good night.
(He was still talking as I walked out of his room.)

Me:  Sorry I had to wake you up, bud.
X:  Yeah, and I was having my best dream ever!  Thanks!

(I told him he could have a cookie and he grabbed two.  I gave him a look.)
"One is to taste how good it is and the other is to just eat like normal."

"There are only two things holding me back.  One:  knowing how to be a band conductor.  Two:  knowing how to drive a car."

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