X: Mommy, how much did your (engagement) ring cost?
M: Well, mine wasn't too much; I think it was around eight hundred dollars.
X (with wide eyes): What???
M: Yeah, and most rings are much more than that now.
X: Well, when I get married, I'll just take your ring for the girl. I don't want to spend all my money on that!
"I can't go to school tomorrow; it's flu season! Are you crazy?!"
(I was explaining adoption to him in terms he could relate to - don't get all excited; we aren't adopting)
M: . . . so if me and Daddy adopted a child, he or she would be our son or daughter, and your brother or sister!
X: And then I would sell Paxton or Piper, because I only want one of each.
"I love these shorts because they smell like Indians!"
(As I was putting him to bed one night)
X: Isn't it funny that "chicken" is the name for an animal and a food you eat?
M: Ummmm. . . .
X: Wait - if you cook an animal chicken, does that give you chicken?
M: Well. . . yes.
X: So you have to just take it's feathers off and poke out it's eyes and take out it's heart then it's chicken?
M: Yeah, but we don't need to think. . .
X: And it's teeth and bones?
M: Let's just go to bed.
X: And the roof of its mouth?
M: Good night, son. Go to sleep.
X: And the floor of its mouth?
M: Good night.
(He was still talking as I walked out of his room.)
Me: Sorry I had to wake you up, bud.
X: Yeah, and I was having my best dream ever! Thanks!
(I told him he could have a cookie and he grabbed two. I gave him a look.)
"One is to taste how good it is and the other is to just eat like normal."
"There are only two things holding me back. One: knowing how to be a band conductor. Two: knowing how to drive a car."